The scary marketing experiment story

" That's a stupid marketing idea. I won't work" I said as we strolled into the office complex.


My partner had just suggested a wacky idea for promoting out flagship product.

And it sounded too crazy.


"people would not take us serious" I kept telling him.

'well, you never know tilll you try" he replied.

" i have seen stupid ideas that work wonders. And remember , you always said...test everything". he added.


And well, he was right. I have always told him that.

So i mulled he thought over and said...

"okay. go do it"


He smiled like he just received the good news of a promotion and raced out my office.

The next day, as I got to the office, I saw something that almost made me vomit.

On top of one of our car was something that looked like a corpse.

"What the hell?"

"Is this what his idea was?". I asked myself.



I pulled out my phone and dialed a number.

Someone was about to be verbally annihilated.

The Story of The Star Gazer

“I have found it” 

James screamed with joy like he just won the lottery.  He dropped the telescope and sprinted in my direction.

James was my twin brother and an amateur astronaut. That’s what he called himself though. I preferred to call him the “crazy star gazer”.

Since we were 7, he had always been fascinated with stars and astronomy.

I remembered the day dad bought him a toy telescope. He smiled from ear to ear like a boy who just got room full of candy.

For the next 12 years, he kept studying and gazing at stars.

“What is it this time?”

“Have you found another onion?”

 That was my way of mocking him. Onion meant Orion.

“Just come check it out”

He dragged me to where he kept the giant telescope.

“Just take a look” he repeated.

I grabbed it and looked.

All I could see were clouds.

“James, did you just make me spend 10 seconds of my life watching clouds”

“What’s all the fuzz was about?”

I dropped his equipment and walked away like an angry child who just got grounded by his dad.

These 3 Funny Tips Can Save Your Marriage

Marriage can be SWEET...and some times can be so bitter.
Some times it's so bad a partner wants a divorce.

 I am not a marriage counselor or anything like...so don't take my GOOD advice. :)

If you are going through stuff times in your marriage , then these 3 funny tips can actually save your marriage from falling apart.

1. Be A FOOL

Yep.
If marriage has to WORK. 1 person has to be a fool sometimes.  You have to overlook things and tolerate the nonsense of your partner.

You know you have your own nonsense RIGHT?
We all do.

If your marriage must work, then you need to tolerate and be a fool for the other partner,
I know this can be HARD because some people are just

2. TALK to your partner 247 

Don't sleep...don't go to WORK...just stay awake and throughout the day talking to your partner.

LOL.

Okay ...just kidding.

But the point I want to make is COMMUNICATE.

Talk to him or her. Don't assume anything.

You see, many marriages fail be cause the partners stop communicating.They start making assumptions.

Appreciate the GOOD Side of your partner

3. Say " I love You" Hourly (and mean it)

Okay...This is not possible. But whenever you can , tell him or her that you LOVE him or her.

People want to be appreciated and LOVED.
Even the worse criminal want to be loved.
 So when you genuinely Love and say it to your partner... (and also act it)...you mend the fences that can wreck your marriage.

Don't assume your partner knows it...SAY IT.
Then act it.

Want more ways to mend your marriage and save your marriage?

 This training is filled with effective ways to turn your marriage around. Just click the link below to check it out.


=====>>>>Click Here To Save Your Marriage 

Man Transforms Stupid Potato Idea Into a "$10k Profit A Month online JACKPOT"

Do you eat POTATOES? If yes...next time you eat one...just imagine crispy $100 bill rolling down your throat...because a man has found a way to make money with potatoes. You see , the other day I stumbled on a very funny but interesting story. A man had a silly idea, when out and tried it.  He made over $10 000 profit in the first month. (I'll shoot you a link below. Read on) Guess what he's doing? People pay him money to write messages on a real potatoes then he mails it anonymously  to any person they want Yeah...you read that right. You can laugh if you want...but that guy is making BANK. BIG $hiny BUCKS. You know, that's why I love the internet. Anyone who  can really take action can SUCCEED. Sometimes it just takes having some BALLS...and the right information. Having BIG BALLS is good. But  having the RIGHT information ...and having  the balls to TAKE ACTION...on the right information... ...will shoot you to success FAST. Truth is...there's bad information all over the WEB. There's also good info too. But the question is ..do you have the BALLS to take action? Did I hear you say "you do"? Good. The cool thing is ...there are many online models much simpler than coming up with silly ideas. You won't have to stay awake all night scrawling on potato or anything object. You'll still need to do some work though. Ready? One cool way to get started online is affiliate marketing. And the other day I pointed you to a training that shows how to profit quickly with affiliate marketing. ====>https://warriorplus.com/o2/a/tnw5p/0 Best Mk Akan PS- Here's the potato story. http://www.dallasobserver.com/arts/plano-native-starts-business-to-anonymously-send-potatoes-in-mail-7503024

The Equalizer - Movie Review

Just one sentence…

Never fuck with the wrong man.(or woman)

Never ever.

No kidding.

The movie is about a man with an incredible past…who has the skills of Rambo, Indiana jones and James Bond combined.

After he lost his wife …he swore never to go back to that past.

He dedicated his life to helping people…until one person …he was trying to help…a Russian whore…got beat up by the Russia mob (her handlers).

He went to see her handlers in a Russian bar to make an offer. Unfortunately they refused it …and in 28 seconds, he sucked the life out of 4 mean men.

Ruskin, the head of the mob in Russia sent in his hitman to clean up the mess and avenge.

Oblivious of who he was fucking with.

This same single man (acted by Denzel Washington), destroyed his business empire …killed his hitman and men…and headed to Russia and finished off Ruskin.

Just make sure you clear up your bladder before you start watching …because you’re not gonna want to miss 1 second of this flick.

And one last thing.

Never  Fuck With The WRONG MAN.(Or WOMAN)

Clouds And Wizards

It first happened when i stepped out of the school bus 3 days ago.

As i waited and waved the bus to disappear down the road , i noticed smoke hovering around me like clouds.

Like something you see only in movies.

Like a wizard in a Harry potter movie...only that I wasn't riding on a broom or dressed in black

cloak.


It lasted for a few seconds though so i just thought wow...

"that was cool"

But when it happened again 2 days later , i knew there was something more to it.

This time the clouds lingered for almost 10 seconds.

"What the hell is that?"

"what's that smoke all about you?" Max asked .

"I don't know ,

"I noticed it a few days ago too"

My voice trembled as fear gushed out with the words from my mouth.


Immediately I got home , I ran to mom.


"Mom, what's wrong with me?"


"clouds are following me around"


Mom looked at me and said ...

"Son , there's something i need to tell you."

The Story Of The Insolent Girl

On my way back from my drinking spree one Friday evening , I saw a girl who had the beauty of 400 models combined.

I could not resist the urge to go talk to her.
So I strolled up to her with the confidence of a man who had just won a $1 million jackpot.

"Hi" I said smiling from ear to ear.

She didn't reply.

"Hi" I said again still smiling from ear to ear.

Perhaps she didn't hear me.

But she didn't talk. Didn't even move.

I was completely ignored... like I was not even there.

"Am talking to you"

Still , no reply.


As I stood there on the concrete slab looking at her , completely embarrassed by her actions...passersby took notice and looked in my direction.


"Why are you feeling like?" I asked her ...beginning to get a little angry.

"Why are you ignoring me?"


As I began raising  my voice...I heard footsteps behind me.

The voice of a young man said...


"Sir, you're talking to a mannequin"

Is This The Best Music Movie Ever Made?

So I have watched the movie perfect pitch like 3 times already and I can’t get enough.

 I love music so any movie about movie attracts me like a magnet. 

 But Perfect Pitch is kinda different.

 When i watched the movie for the first time, the throwing up on stage by…one of the Bella girls...sucked me in.

 And the Treble Makers are just awesome.

 You know, one would expect some old boring crap from accapella (hope I spelled that right) groups …but these guys rocked and made accapella …freaking awesome .

They music the made with their mouth...is amazing.

 I will definitely watch again… jumping to the cool parts of the movie using my remote.

 If you love to watch a cool music related movie that will crack your ribs with laughter go…get Perfect Pitch.

 It’s an old movie though.

Released in 2012 , I think.

 Go get it.

The Funniest Day of My Life.

So I went to do some work at my friend's office today.

Around 5 pm...the light went off.

My laptop was fully charged , so I continued working.

 20 minutes or so later ...I packed my laptop and stepped  out of the room.

Everywhere was dark.

"They have never closed by this time" I assured myself.

I opened the door of one of the offices to say hi to Jerry, one of the staff.

Nobody was there.

Jerry was gone.

The room was as quiet as a grave yard.


I walked to the front door and tried the door.

It was locked from the outside.

I was locked inside from outside.

what?

Then it hit me.

" The office was locked and i was still inside"


How the hell did this happen?


Probably when the generator went off.

After a few seconds ...I giggle at my predicament and placed a call to Jerry.

"Jerry please I am at your office, I am locked inside, please come get me out"

After a few seconds ...I heard him say...

"why didn't you come out when the light went off"


"sorry I didn't know"...I replied back trying to sound very nice and polite.

" Give me 30 minutes ...I am on my way"

Seconds later the mobile connection went dead.


30 minutes?

Damn.

"What would I be doing for 30 minutes"I thought.


I started pacing up and down the corridor leading to the entrance door.


After a few minutes later a crazy idea popped into my head.

"What if i jumped down"

I considered it for a second.

I then opened the door to one of the offices and went to the window.

It had no burglary proof and had louvre blades.

Thank God.

'I can remove the blades and jump down" I thought...but I was on the third floor.


Bad idea.


I can do something crazy ...but not something stupid.

I walked out of the room and began pacing again.

Few minutes later ...I just dragged a white plaster chair by the side of the receptionist's seat and sat my arse down.

Pacing wasn't helping ...it only gave me more crazy ideas.


I took out my cell phone and logged into an online social chat room.

My friend Asian was online.


After a few seconds of exchange ,...i wrote...

"you won't believe me, i am locked in friend's office"

I went on to explain everything to him.

He laughed at me with a "lol" reply.


We made a joke about the whole matter.

The funniest was when he wrote...

" if no one comes for you, use the table to make firewood and hunt for rats for supper".


That made me laugh for a good 5 minutes.

Minutes later ...the front door opened and i was let out of the office.

As I moved away I smiled and said ...

"I will never forget this day"

Types Of Doctors In The World

There are 3 types of doctors in the world.

1. Witch Doctors
2.Quack Doctors

and

3. Conductors

What type of doctor are you?

Who the hell created the "Pet Rock" product

That's the question i asked myself today when i woke up.

I don't KNOW why  i did ...because it is not the first time i have heard about it.

I have read about this crazy product before. It was a serious craze many years ago.

Millions of sane people pulled out money to actually buy a rock .

A rock they called a pet.

No am not kidding.

If you are wondering if i am just making this up...click here to read about pet rock on wikipedia.

As you can see , this is very REAL.

Millions of real people bought a rock as a pets.

What the...?

My head is spinning.

Why did people spend money on a rock?

It beats me.

Were they mind controlled or what?

What value were they getting from buying it?

Was the rock vomitiing clean notes of $1000 bills?

It is really something to think about.

And yes .

Shot up...I know.

It is really none of my business what people decide to buy with their money...but i just can't help but think how the pet rock craze would have played out in Africa (Nigeria to be exact).

I can just imagine how your family and friends would react.

They will likely think you bought an idol.

Your mum would likely send a prayer request to church ...asking the pastor to pray for you.

"He is going crazy...He just bought a rock and calls it a pet"

Your dad would likely book an appointment with a shrink  for you.

Nah...not in Africa.

Your dad would probably, tie you up to the trunk of a big tree with iron chains ...and  BEAT the living shit out of you.

Till that "rock buying demon" in you , is completely exorcised.

Well, maybe he would not be that crazy.

It is possible though.

Anyway... that's this crazy world for you.

I gat to run now.

I have to go stroke my pet rock now. ;)

(Ta...Never gonna happen)

Bye.

My Dad Was A Beater Of Kids

yes...he was .

And it was not beating me and my siblings for fun.

He was disciplining us when we went astray.

Back then it felt like he went too far because he usually used his hard leather belt. 

Sometimes he would use the buckle side of the belt.

He would just order us to lie-down on the bed...while he flexed his muscle on our bear bodies.

I had lots of scars.

Scars from the different things he flogged me with.

Because of all this, we were scared of him.

Very scared.

Whenever he came back from work  around 4 p.m., and we heard the horn of his white colour 504 Peugeot , we would just scamper from the lawn in front of the house or the palour like we just saw a ghost.

This happened for a long time...till one day he noticed something.

He noticed that my neighbours kids were always running out to welcome their dad when they arrived from work. These kids would even collect the office bags from their parents and stroll happily into the house smiling ear to ear.

It was the right thing kids should do. But not in our case.

So one day, he came back from work , (I think we did not see him on time or something  ) and to his amazement , we all scampered into the house .

He was a bit shocked.

He walked briskly into the parlour , called us all out and asked .

“do I have a masquerade on my face”

We could not answer .

Who wanted to get beat up in a sweet sunny afternoon?

Not me.

Then he said.

“next time I come back home and you guys run into the house instead of coming to receive me , I will beat you guy up”

Ultimate Victory-Childhood Story About Fights

I don't know about you but when i was a kid i used to play a lot ...and i used to fight a lot with other kids.

It wasn't just me but other kids too.

I think i was a thing about supremacy or something like that.

we always wanted to know who was superior .

And when there was a fight we would talk about it for days.

Back then , it was believed ( still believed) that girls could't beat or fight boys.
In fact it was believed that guys don't fight girls ,but guys beat girls.

It's probably because of this weaker sex chauvinistic talk.

Any way, that's not what this story is about .

So lets keep all that aside.

Now when boys fought ,there was usually exchange of blows ,injuries , breaking of nose and some other things people do when they fight.

The guy who is too weak to continue the fight loses and the guy who weakens the other is usually the victor.

But the ultimate victory in any fight was when one could hold the other down and force grass and sand  into his mouth.

That was like reducing the vanquished to the level of a goat.

It never happened often.

Ones in a while it did.

But i will never forget this one till i die.

Here is exactly what happened.

There is was a big hefty guy we used to call "fufule" cos he was bigger than most of us his age mates.

Fufule was a derogatory name that meant he ate too much "fufu" a staple Nigerian meal.

So we were playing as usual (i think it was soccer) and some girls were playing by the side.

One thing led to another and before we knew it, "fufule" wanted to beat up a girl (lets call here Lizzy) .

But before we could do a damn thing , all i can remember now is that ...the girl Lizzy was sitting on top of
the boy's belly while he struggled to break free from her hold.

The next thing ,she was forcing grass and sand down his throat.

I will never forget that sight.

It's felt like the guy lost his manhood.

I don't know how it happened but it did.

That was the worse thing that could ever happen to a guy then...

And we still talk about it...even up till now.

That's why you are reading this. ;)

Who The Hell Created Lap Dance?

The other day ,i just asked myself ,...

Who The Hell Created Lap Dance?

You know why?

...because for some reason i just realized how stupid the whole idea of a lap dance is.

Think about this.

Who in his right mind thinks it is cool to go some where, pay half nude girls to dance or sit on your lap , get a hard-on and then you go back home with no one to bring down the growth in your pants.

it's just freaken crazy.

So who the hell invented this shit?

i need him to read this .

Take-offing Dog-My Funny Christmas Childhood Experience

When i was a kid ,my fiends and I used to have fun during Christmas.
A lot of fun.
I mean crazy fun.


Apart from the masquerades and new clothes my
parents bought for me ,we used to throw around fire crackers.

Crazy ass fire crackers.

In fact , we used to make stuff worse than fire crackers.

Something that could be seen as bombs.

We called it ...take-offing dogs.
i don't know how the name came about but...
It meant -.dogs that are taking off like jets.

And it all came about from the flying cans of empty
 beverages we used to create our fire crackers (bombs).

Here is what we used t do...

we would buy carbide from the market, get a crown cock
, place some water in it and drop a piece of the carbide.

As the carbide reactions with the water...we place a
 empty can ,with a little pierced hole , over it.

As the gas from the reaction fills the can, we light a match ..
.or a stick then place over the tiny hole.

BOOM.... goes the can as it explodes with a loud bang.

It used to be fun...but it was crazy.

You Must Carry (Short Funny Story)

"You must carry"
"You must carry"

They tiny crowd of happy guests chanted as the milled about outside the entrance of the church ...taking turns to snap pictures with the latest couple in town.

It was now time for the couple to take their personal pictures alone.

They crowd wanted they groom to carry his new bribe that is why they chanted "you must carry".
...but there was only one problem.

A big problem.

The bride was 2 times the size of the man.

If you looked at the new couple and was asked who should carry who , you would (without even thinking twice ), point to the wife .

...but that is not the traditional thing.

It is the husband who does the carrying.

So as the guests kept repeating like a broken record  "you must carry".

The husband,dressed with shiny black suede suit with a black bow tie to match, out of idiocy or to prove ...he could literary carry his wife ...and take care of his bride...decided to do the unthinkable.

He bend over a little and attempted to lift up his wife.

The wife , hesitated at first and with her eyes, tried to dissuade his groom from lifting her.

...but he persisted .

He wasn't going to let people hear he could not carry his wife.He wasn't going to be a laughing stock.A story  people will always remembers and tease him with.

Never.

Not going to happen.


So using all the strength he could muster , he lifted his darling wife ...to the cheers of the guests.

As the cameraman was about to take shots ,the groom's feet began to wobble like someone who was drunk on alcohol and before anyone could say " don't do it" ...

The couple fell heavily on the dusty ground ,messing up their wedding dresses and injuring themselves.

click here to get more funny stories 

writer's block

So i sat staring at my laptop screen for minutes, like it was about to reveal a secret to me.

Why?

...because i had no idea what to write.

I think it's called writer's block...then i immediately remembered what one of my mentors said about writer's block.

"it does not exist.It only means you don't know what to do next".

Another mentor,who is a friend to my first mentor said...

"when you don't know what to write , just type blah, blah ,blah , blah ...till something comes to your head .When it does ,write it down"

There is one reason why he asked me to do this, (and it does work ) and the reason is this...

"Movement always beats inaction".

He explained ...as you go through the motion of writing or typing blah blah..something will pop into your head.

So here am i trying it out and thinking hard for a story for this blog.

And i guess it works ...because i have just typed over 100 words.

Good night.

Add "S" (Funny Story)

During a party with friends and guest,the illiterate wife of the celebrant called the maid from the main house and said...

"please bring 3 SPOON"

The husband trying not to publicly correct his wife quickly whispered to her ...

"add "s" ...

The illiterate wife in a bid to correct her mistake ,screamed to the maid, to the hearing of all present...

"add "s"...

Over The Bridge

Today have a terrible story for you.

You may hate me and the story at the end...because it is not funny.
At all.

It's a true story a friend told me.(I can't verify for sure ,but it is possibly true)

Now here we go.

Sometime in the early nineties .

A man was traveling from Benue State to Onitsha.In the middle of the night journey, armed robbers struck.

They dare devils ,5 in number, shot sporadically in the air and forced the driver to stop the 16 sitter bus.
The armed robbers stormed into the bus and asked the passengers to bring  out all their moneys and drop it on the floor.

In 30 minutes ,they carefully ransacked all the passengers and the bus ,tearing open every space and corner in the bus, taking all the money on the floor and from the passengers.

As the armed robbers were about to step out of the bus, a young lady screamed out.

"someone did not give all the money o"

Informing the robbers that someone had not obeyed their orders.

The lady pointed to another woman who had a baby with her.


One of the robbers came back into the bus,looking red in the face. He had the kind of look harden criminal have when they are about to do something very sinister .He strolled slowly towards the lady with the baby.

As the armed robber came closer ,the expression on lady's face was that of one who just got a death sentence.

When the armed robber got to the lady , he pointed the silver pistol at her and dragged the baby from her grasp.

He looked at the baby , as another member of the gang checked the baby's diaper .


Turns out the nursing mother had hidden some money in her baby's diaper.

To everyone's shock the robber made a crazy statement.

"You have not learnt to talk or walk yet and you have already started stealing money" 

He was referring to the baby.


Suddenly  ...bang...

A gun shot rang right there in the bus...

Guess what happened?


The robber shot the baby point blank right in the forehead.

He passed the lifeless body of the baby to the mother and walked like a king out of the bus with his gang behind him.

"move"


 He screamed at the driver as he pointed the scary weapon towards the bus.


The confused driver screeched the car out of the stationary position and sped towards Onitsha.


For a few seconds everyone in the bus could not believe their eyes.

The mother of the baby could not stand the pain of seeing her baby die, she fainted a few seconds after the shot was fired.


No one uttered a word as the driver drove for almost 20 minutes.

When he got to benue bridge , he stopped the bus,walked to the lady that ratted out the nursing mother .He dragged her to the door as she kicked and screamed ,fighting to remain in the bus .

He overpowered her and pushed her outside the bus. She was still screaming, shouting and protesting. Seconds later , I did not hear her screams anymore.

The driver came back in ,breathing heavily like he just won a marathon race.

He did not need a soothsayer to tell him what had  happened .

The driver had pushed her over the bridge into the icy cold ,dirty river below.


No one made anything attempt to stop the driver.It was like everyone had secretly agreed to what he did.

The driver started the bus and drove away, like nothing happened.

The end.


My question is ...was the driver right?

You are a moron

“I have to tell you something that has been bothering me”, I said to Billy.

“What exactly” he replied as he raised his head from the pillow to hear what I had to say.

“I don’t know how you will feel about this, but I just have to tell you” I replied.

“What is it “.

Billy was getting really impatient.

Come close, I don’t want your sister to hear us.

Billy’s sister was lying fast asleep on the other corner of the room.

Billy moved closer as I spoke these words softly into his ear.

“You are a moron”.

We both burst into a wild fit of laughter.

It was a stupid joke.

 A joke I am known for.

“Really?”

 Billy replied with a smile.

“This is what I think about it” he added.

And he whispered these words into my ears.

“Same to you”